Modeling Self-Acceptance

Self-Acceptance is a crucial part in one’s ability to live a healthy and happy life. Self-Acceptance is being satisfied with one’s self despite any perceived “weaknesses” and irregardless of past behaviors and choices. So it is no mystery that a child who struggles with bulimia certainly does not have a healthy sense of  self. What bulimics tend to do is twist beliefs and behaviors into highly subjective and negative self-rejection.

As parents what steps can be taken to help your child accept him or her self? I believe it starts with taking inventory of yourself and making sure you are being the best “you” you can be. Then you can model positive self-acceptance for your child - children are constantly observing how you act and what you say so you need to be careful what you are projecting.

1- Be conscious of what you say or do:
Do you ever say things like:

• I hate these jeans because I feel my bottom looks big in them.
• I’m not in the mood to go out and socialize with friends because I have nothing to wear, all my clothes are unattractive.
• Or, I can’t eat this or that because I am watching my weight.

Do you ever judge others verbally or nonverbally?

• While in the company of anyone have you ever said, “Wow, so and so has put on weight?
• Or, while dining have you ever said, “Oh, she certainly should not be eating that?
• Or shot a disapproving look at someone or what they ordered?
  

2- Set an intention

• Today I am going to go on a walk and simply enjoy the experience.
• Today I am going to meditate for 30 minutes.
• Today I am going to live in the moment and not worry about tomorrow.

3- Practice self-forgiveness

• Try to move beyond past transgressions or events that continue to weigh on you negatively. You cannot undo the past so your real choice is to let it go and face forward.
• Start using affirmations such as “I forgive myself”, or “I did the best job I could at the time with the skill set I had”.

It is a very lonely life when we don’t like ourselves. By not having a strong sense we are not living our best life and for bulimics this greatly plays into binge/purge cycle. So for parents it is important to take inventory of how you value yourself, what behaviors you exhibit that maybe counterproductive or even toxic and may be directly, if unwittingly, influencing your child who is struggling with bulimia and self-worth.